Seek, Trust, Hope, Believe

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33 ESV)


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)


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SEEK.

TRUST.

These two words, to me, sum up the crux of faith and following Jesus. Nine little letters comprise these two small words, yet there's nothing about practicing these small words that's easy, simple, or smooth.

Seeking is HARD. Trusting is HARD.

When you seek and trust God, what you're really saying is...

I KNOW I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS.

SHOW ME WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO GO, WHO TO BE.

I CHOOSE TO DEPEND ON YOU, GOD.

LEAD ME.

I CHOOSE NOT TO LEAD MYSELF.

I KNOW IT'S *BEST* NOT TO LEAD MYSELF.

I BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR MY LIFE, GOD.

I PUT MY HOPE IN YOUR PERFECT ABILITY TO DECIDE FOR ME.

But what happens when you are walking through something really difficult? What happens when you have been praying and seeking and there seems to be no answer... no direction.  What happens when the bottom falls out? What happens when you are seeking, and God seems to be silent?

SILENT...

ABSOLUTELY SILENT...

Believe me, friends, I have been here. I don't share this from a place of words without first understanding the actual soul-bending that takes place. I have longed and ached and hurt in this place. This place of God-silence.

You may think NOTHING is happening, but I assure you, SOMETHING is happening.

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.

FAITH is forged and tested in the waiting, in the quiet, in the silence.

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"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold." (1 Peter 1:7 NLT) 

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As you seek and trust God, your FAITH is growing and strengthening. As you seek and trust God, your faith is the SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. 

As you seek and trust, as your faith is forged, HOPE is born.


*HOPE* IS BORN. 


SEEK... TRUST... HOPE... BELIEVE...


BELIEVE IT.

BELIEVE IT.

BELIEVE IT. 


IT'S MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD.

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Don't give up seeking. Don't give up trusting. Don't give up hoping. The answer may be just around the corner, and it may be more BEAUTIFUL than you ever imagined.


All is grace... maybe especially in the wait, my friends...

Yes, all is grace,

Washed in the Water

As Christians, we are in the midst of one of the most meaningful remembrances and celebrations of our faith... EASTER. Without the the truth and hope of Easter in our lives, our faith is pointless, hopeless, purposeless.

My heart is always moved by the story of Jesus gathering with his closest friends before His death. Around the table they ate and drank together, they relaxed, they talked...it would be the last time they would be in each others' presence before everything changed.

Judas, the betrayer, was in that room, too, masquerading among the disciples as one who truly loved Jesus, dipping bread in the bowl of intimacy before running off to turn Him in for the price of a slave, thirty pieces of silver.

But even before dipping the bread in the bowl, Jesus, The Son of God, The King of Kings, The Messiah, The Lord of Lords, The Light of the World, The Way, The Truth, and The Life, put a towel around his waist, bent down, and washed His betrayer's feet.

Instead of re-writing this account and how it has moved me, I want to re-share my reflections from two Easters ago. I still can't get those dirty feet out of my heart or mind... their dirty feet and mine, and how Jesus washes us all.

(Clicking on the title below will take you there)

DIRTY FEET AND A GRACE WASH...

Scribbling out the Lies

Several weeks ago, I had dinner with a dear sister-friend of mine. During the course of our evening and conversation, she gently pointed out how negative I was about myself.

I love her for knowing she was safe enough to be gut-level honest with me.

I love her for loving me enough not to let me stay in that place.

It's a delicate dance to take the risk to speak something hard into someone's life. Because she earnestly loves me, she earned the right to speak that truth in safety for both of us.

I love her for telling the truth.

I thought a lot about what she'd said...

BUT HOW DO YOU CHANGE SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN INGRAINED IN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL?

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I recently started writing something God has been stirring in my heart for a couple of years to write. Ironman bought me a special binder and an out-of-this-world-rockin' pen to get started. After many days of pen-to-paper, I finished the introduction. I gave my binder to Ironman to preview so he could tell me if he thought I was on the right track. I anticipated some sort of encouragement. Instead, he told me I was too hard on myself. I was repeatedly negative. It almost seemed as if I didn't believe in what I was writing.

OUCH.

THE TRUTH DOES, INDEED, HURT SOMETIMES... BUT, SOMETIMES, IT'S NECESSARY.

I let my binder sit quiet for a few weeks thinking about what Ironman said. Wasn't I just expressing humility? Wasn't I just making sure that anyone who might read my words would know that I didn't think I was something that I'm not?

AND HOW EXACTLY DO YOU WASH AWAY ALL THOSE LIES INGRAINED IN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL?

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Last week, I picked up my binder again. I re-read my own introduction. Guess what I saw? Negativity. Not humility. {Sigh}

Being humble is not self-deprecating.

HOW DO YOU SILENCE THE LIES?

I'm sure that on some level I will always battle my upbringing and abuse, but it was time to let another layer peel back... to let another layer be exposed to heal.

LET IT HEAL.

I grabbed my slick new pen, and I began to cross off every single thing that was negative, self-doubting, insecure.

One single line through the words became swirls and scribbles of blocking out the negative... all of the negative...

As I marked off each less-than word, sentence, paragraph... something began to happen. I crossed away part of my past, and I began to believe the truth. 

I HAVE A VOICE.

God brought me here, HE asked me to write, and I have every right to do just that.

I HAVE NO REASON TO BE OR FEEL INSECURE.

My confidence is in HIS call to do this. My confidence is in HIS crazy-ridiculous-upside-down love for me.  

I MOST CERTAINLY DO BELIEVE IN WHAT I SHARE AND WHAT I WRITE. 

I don't know how to silence all the lies, but I do believe it begins with crossing off, ripping up, obliterating one negative voice, statement, face at a time.

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More than the words left among the scribbles, something deep took place in my heart. I gave my messy, scribbly introduction to Ironman to re-read. He finished, smiled and kissed me on the forehead. I knew it was a good beginning. A humble, truthful, GOOD beginning.


All is grace...always grace,

Dreams Do Come True

This week, something pretty exciting happened to me... this ragamuffin-nobody-small-town girl. I got to hold in my hands, for the very first time, a book which I am beyond proud to be part of. When the package arrived in the mail, it was almost surreal. Up until a little over three years ago,
I'D NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING... 
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE... 
EVER... and here I was kneeling down on the living room floor, peeling tape from a manila envelope that contained a book which held part of my heart and some of my words.

UNBELIEVABLE.

Being the book-lover that I am, I never dreamed I would be holding a book with my name or my story in print... published.

PUBLISHED.

I NEVER DREAMED...

The truth is, I don't think I could have dreamed this for myself. I never felt I was allowed to dream, let alone dream something this big.

I'd always hoped that somehow, some way, my story would be able to touch someone else with a similar story. I was completely alone for years. Until I was married, I had no one to talk to, no one to cry with, no one to listen. I carried my gaping wounds in silence. As I began to heal in my adulthood, I longed for a way, any way, to share my story so that it might help someone else. I did dream of helping other girls like me. I never dreamed that God would use a book as one of the avenues.

I NEVER DREAMED...

BUT GOD DID...

HE DREAMED THESE DREAMS FOR ME WHEN I COULDN'T DREAM AT ALL.

I am humbled, blessed, and amazed to be included with twenty-nine other women and their stories. Tamara Lunardo, editor, weaves her own personal story powerfully and flawlessly through the others creating a riveting, seamless account of gathered pieces.

WHAT A WOMAN IS WORTH is an important book with a vital message. There are heartbreaking stories and stories of redemption. There are stories of shame and stories of empowerment. If you are a woman and you struggle with your significance, your value, your role, this book might be for you. If you have been abused, misused, discarded, this book might be for you. If you struggle with insecurity, body image, self-worth, this book might be for you.

The stories are transparent, vivid, and strong.

THESE WOMEN LEFT THEIR SOULS ON THE PAGES, SO YOU COULD FIND HEALING IN YOURS.

I'm praying for the reach of this book, because its message is valuable and needed.

For this ragamuffin-nobody-small-town girl, having my story shared to reach others, soothe others, and introduce others to the reality that they are not alone brings added redemption to my own story. Telling my story for this purpose reminds me that...

DREAMS DO COME TRUE.


All is grace...always grace,











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What a Woman is Worth is available for purchase HERE.

Blessings, grace, and peace, dear ones.