Will it Rain?

I'm sitting on the porch- computer on my lap.  I have much to do, yet my heart distracts me.  Thoughts of school weigh on me heavy.  I need to finalize homeschool orders, organize our school room, finish other things that I won't have time to complete once our school schedule is in swing.  We have visitors coming next week, and two weeks after that we are taking a much needed (educational) family vacation.  There is much to do.  There is much to prepare.  And here I am on our porch.  Sitting.  My wandering heart questioning...

WILL IT RAIN?

As the breeze tickles the leaves green I hear the melodic rustle of the wind moving from tree to tree.  I can almost follow its invisible path.  Thunder cracks and rolls in the far-off distance.  The reality hits that the leaves green will soon be fire red. They will  release and fall as another season passes making way for rest and then new growth.  It has been heavy on my heart that it's almost been a year.

A YEAR... 

A YEAR...

In this very moment I hear an engine straining under the weight of its load.  I look up and see a moving truck exiting our community with their life in tow.  Their journey is taking them BEYOND HERE.  Almost twelve months have passed since we entered this community.  Our journey has BROUGHT US HERE.  A lot has happened in this year... a lot has happened just yesterday.  I find myself here in this time and in this space- somewhat lost and somewhat found.  All I can muster to ask with these thoughts mingled and tangled together...

WILL IT RAIN?    

Thoughts sift and stir, and sift and stir over-and-over again.  Sometimes there is pain in the sifting, and rattling in the stirring.  School, kids, home, relationships, family, friends, church... *sigh* church?  hurts, failures, should-have-beens, could-have-beens...  I try to focus on the task in front of me but...

SOMETIMES GOD WANTS US TO LAY TASKS ASIDE AND PRESS INTO HIM... PRESS INTO THE QUESTIONS.

I press in, and I wonder...

WILL IT RAIN?

Out of nowhere lightning flashes and the bold clap of thunder startles me.  I have learned this past year that it rarely rains in Colorado.  Evidence of coming rain does not always mean it will.  The sun taunts the clouds and they argue.  Who will win?  I need to know.

WILL IT RAIN? 

Will it rain in my heart and refresh my soul?  I'm thirsty for more- more of JESUS- deeper still.   

I WANT MORE.

Will the secret longings within my depths be heard or answered.  Do I dare to dream again?  It feels  risky to even breathe it, let alone say it... I might be dreaming again... hoping again.  In a moment honest... unexpected...  here on this porch my answer comes...
  
RAIN.

For one solid, yet brief minute...

Straight as an arrow down to the ground, RAIN pounds into thirsty soil.

Straight as an arrow down to my soul, GOD pounds into me...

BELIEF......