Advent Joy

When I shared my thoughts two weeks ago about waiting and advent, I didn't intend to write weekly for this Advent season, but with all of these swirling thoughts, I thought I might put them into words if time afforded me to do so. I knew the theme for Advent today was joy, so I have been ruminating about joy all week. For me, joy has felt elusive. Permeating, deep down in the soul-bones joy has evaded me continually. The moments when I thought there was a breath, and I could hope to let joy sink in, something has always come along to rob me from really feeling it. From my earliest memory on, there have been consistent difficulties (at times tragic) in my life. Please don't misunderstand. There are many, MANY blessings in my life and I am sincerely grateful for each and every one of them, but the hard has still been hard. It's been a long journey, but I have learned a few things along the way, and I am learning still. In the process of growing up and growing older, joy is one of the things I have misconceived and still seek to understand and experience. 

Joy is not dependent upon your life circumstances, the ease of your daily life, your good (or poor) health, who you know, who you are, or what you do for a living. Joy is not dependent on the home you own or the shack you rent. Joy is not dependent on the daily grief you carry, the successes you have, the failures that haunt, the freedoms you possess, or the influence you have. AS A BELIEVER, the source of your joy is founded in Jesus- not what He has or has not blessed you with here on this earth, but in the deep knowing that you are His, you are held, you are loved, and you are SAVED, because years and years ago, God saw fit, in a way we could never humanly explain or understand, to be born right into flesh, into our broken humanity- this holy, ordinary, messy, sorrow-filled, yet beautiful world. I think as human beings we struggle with the emotional aspect of joy. Sure, it can be a feeling, but I think deep-down joy is more. David, the man after God's own heart, struggled with feeling like he'd lost his deep joy. He asked God to return the joy of his salvation. And isn't that really what Jesus, our Emmanuel-God-with-us, came to do? Save us? I think I've had joy wrong all along. I have longed to feel an underlying happy feeling. Life has shaken my always-glass-half-full outlook up harder than I ever knew possible, and I wish I could get a little bit of my naivete' back. I want to feel joy in every facet, or at least hope that is something that is possible. But I don't think this is a reality. I think the truth is that sorrow and joy mingle, and deep joy is something that is both simple and difficult. The bottom line might just be that true joy is as simple as Heaven. Jesus came. We believe. We are graced. We are saved. I think I get so bogged down in all of my daily concerns that I lose sight of this very simple truth, this truth where joy should originate. Paul was tortured and imprisoned, yet he could still sing. He knew there was something more, and he was connected to it. I have lost sight of that something more in the daily grind. Like David, I am asking for the joy of my salvation to be returned to me. I used to have so much awe and wonder about God in my younger days, and that was sweet and beautiful. Now that I am older, and life has been so...well... life-y, I think I am coming to realize there is maturity beyond the wonder. Maybe joy is a choice, after all? Will I choose today to be grateful that a savior came to lavish me with his love and grace to create a bridge to a place I could never travel on my own? Will I let joy permeate my soul because of that truth? Will I let that be the very foundation of my joy and let it have nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with my earthly circumstance? You see, I think ADVENT JOY is a spiritual condition of joy, not a circumstantial condition of joy. It is in that truth where I want to find my source of wonder.  

"But the angel reassured them. "Dont' be afraid!" he said. "I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people." Luke 2:10

All is grace...always,
Shanda