My kids were right. For a few days after the phone reprimand incident, I jokingly spoke to my children as if I were making professional phone calls to them. Honestly, it annoyed them, but the sting still lingered. I was more kind to strangers and acquaintances than I was to my own family, my children, my supposed-to-be-most-treasured possessions. Sigh.
Laying bare the ugly parts of my mothering (and beyond), I transparently confess that a few days later I was in a tizzy about something. I was carrying on like an angry dragon, and my nine-year-old son calmly said, "Mom, this is not a situation for yelling." UGH!!! Sting. Sting. Sting.
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE, AND IT NEEDS TO CHANGE NOW!
ME.
I, SIMPLY, HAVE TO GET IT TOGETHER!
I could come up with a hundred legitimate excuses about why this is a struggle for me, but the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter.
THERE ARE NO EXCUSES.
THERE IS NO ONE TO BLAME.
I, ALONE, AM RESPONSIBLE.
I am responsible for managing the temperature, tone, and atmosphere in my home, and I am failing to do that in a way I feel confident, peace-filled, and proud. I have thoughtfully and prayerfully considered what I might do to change my disturbing habits, and one question kept coming to me over and over.
WERE YOU KIND TODAY?
Let it sink in.
Let it simmer.
WERE YOU KIND TODAY?
It didn't take long for me to dash to my chalkboard and write it out smack-dab-in-the-center of all of my comings and goings in our home.
WERE YOU KIND TODAY?
I printed off words and images from my computer and taped them in doorways, onto mirrors, onto windows, and even onto my coffee maker.
BE KIND.
KINDNESS MATTERS.
CHOOSE KINDNESS.
I want reminders EVERYWHERE. I don't want this soul-sting to be wasted. I don't want to have anymore regrets than I already do about my parenting, teaching, loving, and character-modeling in our home. This is too important to miss, and I sense a definite shift.
Am I going to fail? Absolutely. I failed as early as this morning when water went flying (accidentally) across the room and ruined a precious heirloom. It's important to know that we are human, and there is grace. ALWAYS GRACE. But at the end of the day, I want to know and be aware that I did my broken-best to be gentle, gracious, and kind. I want peace to fill my soul when I snap out the lights at the close of the day, wander past my chalkboard, and ask myself...
WERE YOU KIND TODAY?
"Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
ALWAYS GRACE,
***********
Quick update:
It's been several weeks...errr months... since I've been able to blog. If you have found your way to my little corner of the internet apart from Facebook, I want to update you that the home we have been living in, that we waited nearly six months for the short sale to be approved, is our home!
WE ARE HOME!
WE ARE GRATEFUL!
GRATEFUL!
GRATEFUL!
One of the first things I bought was a welcome mat.
IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE HOME!
