This is one of the most treasured parts of my crazy-beautiful-upside-down story. Unless you're new to my blog or me, it's no secret that my father was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. My upbringing left me damaged and wounded with gaping holes that needed filled.
When I was eighteen years old, my father exited my mom's life and mine for another woman and her small children. On all levels, it was relief. The abuser was gone.
FINALLY.
When I was nineteen years old, I married my hero... my knight in shining armor... my Ironman. I never dreamed that such a beautifully hearted man would choose broken me, but he did.
MY LIFE HAS BEEN FOREVER CHANGED AND BLESSED BECAUSE OF HIM.
MY MOM'S LIFE HAS BEEN FOREVER CHANGED AND BLESSED BECAUSE OF IRONMAN, TOO.
Two years into our marriage, Ironman's mom mentioned her dear cousin who was going through a bitter heart-sick divorce. She wondered if my mom would be interested in meeting him? I smile now because my mom, after going through hell, was perfectly content to be single for the rest of her life. She, honestly and understandably, never wanted anything to do with another man again. After a bit of pressuring from Ironman and me, she reluctantly agreed to meet the cousin.
AFTER ALL, WHAT HARM COULD COME TO AN INDIANA GIRL FROM A COLORADO MAN LIVING 1,200 MILES AWAY?
I've never believed in love-at-first-sight stories until I witnessed one myself. Colorado Man came and swept my mom off her feet with his charm, kindness, sincerity, and gentle love.
TWO PEOPLE IN THE GREAT-SEA-OF-US-ALL FOUND EACH OTHER.
They met in April and were married the following year in September. My mom sold her house, gave away most of her belongings except for a small car load, and moved to beautiful Colorado to rest in LOVE'S NEW HOME.
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Four years after their marriage, a phone call from my mom changed the course of my identity. At the time, I was expecting our first child. In the midst of the conversation it came up that Colorado Man wanted to, somehow, officially be my father, and a grandfather to the little one and future little ones that would join our family. It wasn't enough that I called him "Dad" and he would be called "Grandpa." He wanted his role to be recognized in an official capacity.
HE WANTED ME, BROKEN ME, TO BE HIS OFFICIAL HEIR.
It was almost too much to drink in. Colorado Man wanted to be my father... my dad.
HE WANTED ME.
But how could this happen since I was a married adult- almost twenty-five years old?
With a little bit of research and a good lawyer, we discovered that adult adoptions were indeed legal and possible in the state of Colorado. My mom and Colorado Man spent a year tying up legal footwork. In the summer of 1997, we took our first vacation west with our little daughter to celebrate her first birthday with "Grammy" and "Papa Don." During this same trip on August 6th, I officially became Colorado Man's daughter.
I WAS HIS HEIR.
I BELONGED.
I WAS CHOSEN... WANTED...LOVED.
In the twisted beauty of my story, because he is a cousin on Ironman's side of the family, my four children are actually blood related to their grandfather. Only God could orchestrate something so sweet. "Papa Don" is the best grandfather in the world to my kids. He, sacrificially, gives his time and energy to them. He delights in them, and they in him.
HE FILLS THEIR LIVES WITH LIFE, LIGHT, AND JOY.
It's beautiful to watch their relationships grow and deepen. It is a brokenness restored to my heart. My dad is a true gift to them and to me.
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SOMETIMES GIFTS HAVE DEEPER, HIDDEN TREASURES WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED.
I'll never forget the day that God whispered to me a gift of deeper understanding.
MY DAD CHOSE ME, JUST LIKE GOD CHOSE ME.
"You didn't choose me. I chose you." John 15:16 (NLT)
I AM MY DAD'S HEIR, AND I AM ALSO GOD'S HEIR.
"And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ, we are heirs of God's glory." Romans 8:17 (NLT)
I AM PURPOSELY GRAFTED INTO MY DAD'S FAMILY TREE, AND I AM PURPOSELY GRAFTED INTO GOD'S.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5 (NLT)
I AM WANTED, CHOSEN, DESIRED, CHERISHED, LOVED... ADOPTED... BY MY DAD, AND I AM WANTED, CHOSEN, DESIRED, CHERISHED, LOVED...ADOPTED... BY GOD.
"You received God's spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, 'Abba, Father.' For His spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children." Romans 8:15-16 (NLT)
WE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN- HIS DAUGHTERS- HIS SONS.
DRINK IN THE GIFT.
IT'S UNSPEAKABLY BEAUTIFUL.
Indeed! There is no greater gift than being adopted.
I am twice adopted, and I am one grateful daughter.
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Happy Father's Day, Dads! I honor YOU!
p.s. The above picture is of my dad and my youngest having a ball in a bumper boat. :)
